Friday, March 30, 2007

More Crap

My life is in a generally weird place right now. Some stuff is happening that changes my day to day existence, and we all know how much I like change.

Firstly, I had to withdraw from school this quarter. It turns out I would end up owing Ohio University about 600 dollars should I attend this quarter. And seeing as how I am also jobless, that's just not going to happen.

On a plus note, we just got the car fixed, meaning I can start the job search again. But frankly I think I might need some time off. I dunno. Ever have those unsurities that you just don't know how to address? Hmm.... I seem to draw them like a moth to flame.

Haha Tried to be creative there. Failed. However I do want to start writing creatively. Something I have fantasized about for years. I always end up giving up though. So I created a blog (in secret for now, may or may not share it in the future) where I can play around with creative writing without being "found out" lol. In studying for my speech on writer's block months ago, I learned that the key to overcoming writer's block, is to learn to overcome the fear of overly neagative judgement of your writing skills. I'll give it a shot I gues.

I am usually dissatisfied with my work. Not just writing but in just about everything else as well. I am a harsh critic of myself I guess. I don't feel I ever do anything good enough. I rarely satisfy my own hopes....

Its not that others have been critical. My family and friends are very supportive of me, in things that I attempt. I am my own roadblock.

I have always wanted to create. Writing, Music, whatever. But I just never feel up to it. I dunno.

I would also consider prayer, as I am depressed about a few things.